Girl to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour!"
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket."
The man then said "When I was at the races last week and Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on."
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied: "Your Horse phoned!!!"
